Good day friends!!

Have I got something so awesome to share with those who still come by to visit. I know of only 2 people but will post this blessing that our family has experienced. Perhaps what I have to say really isn't all that interesting, but this is my life with my thoughts.

Many of the women in Blessings have been praying for Matt for the past few months. Last week he came home from a meeting and said he needed to talk to me. Immediately I thought, "oh, I must be in trouble for something." But nope, I am a good wife and have been behaving...hehe...even with pregnancy hormones!!

Matt started off with "You must have been praying for me a lot". At first, I had no idea what he was talking about. I said, yes dear, i do pray for you daily and so do my sisters from Blessings. He proceeded to go on....He said that 6 months ago, if someone had asked him if he believed in God, his answer would have been I dont know. This I already knew because I asked him back in April if he believed in God and he hesitated and said he doubted God's existence. Well when he was talking to me last week, he said that in the past month his faithhas been restored and that he does believe that God does exist!!! He says after much thought and esp. after our miraculous conception of our little boy, that he is most certain that God is here with us, is protecting us, and blessing our family in numerous ways esp. during this year. So I then asked him"why all of a sudden a change?" And he said, it's not all of a sudden! It's been gradual but God is here with me and has always been even though I doubted his existence for so long. My husband has for the most part always been a good man. He doesnt beat me, put me down, or neglect me...although at times it does feel that way...but it's because he is so busy with work and his business. After we were finished talking, I immediately prayed with him and thanks the Lord for bringing Matt to the light, for getting into his heart and making a change for my husband. This is certainly a huge praise report and can only come from God himself! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Since May, I have been attending church regularly. I started bringing the chidlren with me in Aug. And now Matt wants to come along also!!! Another huge blessing. It's been so long since we have attended church as a family. I've never pushed for him to go with me and now he is more than willing to come with me without me asking him! How awesome is that! Friends, God really DOES answer prayer... in his own perfect timing. It may not be what we want but when the Lord is ready to make a change and bless us, he does! And it is the most wonderful feeling in the world! This year alone, I have been given another chance at life after a suicide attempt, our family has been blessed with a beautiful boy due to arrive in Jan., and now my husband is a believer again!

Matt is currently reading a book titled Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen and has been greatly encouraged by it. I have read the book myself earlier this year and benefited from it greatly. it is a great read for those looking for a good book. For one, my relationship with God has become more intimate and continues to grow in this way daily.

I truly believe that Matt is going through a transformation and it just touches my heart so much to see him join me in the walk of Christ. For some this may not be a big deal, but for us, this is a huge answer to prayer. And this I owe to the wonderful prayer warriors in my life who have endlessly prayed for us, our marriage, and for Matt's salvation. This is just the beginning of beautiful things to come. God is changing our lives in many ways and this is a magnificent way to start. I am ever so blessed to know and love the Lord. For he is my rock and my refuge! Amen and Amen.

That is it for me today. I must go now and prepare dinner for my family and then rest. Thanks for visiting and please come back soon so I dont feel so lonely.

The light in the eyes of him whose heart is joyful, rejoices the heart of others.
- Proverbs 15:30

On Sept. 1, 2005, we learned that our new addition to the family is a little boy! At first, Matt and I were shocked but thankful that our little one is for the most part healthy...besides the concern for the heart condition and heart rate being low. It was so awesome to see our baby moving around on the screen as the tech did the measurements on the baby. The results of the ultrasound shows that my due date is right on target, baby weighs 7 oz. but I do have a codntion called polyhydramnios, which is excess amniotic fluid. I had this with my pregnancy with Matthew as well and is a complication of the diabetes. So far it doesn't pose a problem but later on when I get bigger it can get quite uncofortable. We're still working on a name for our little one though. We couldn't be more happy! We're constantly wondering who he'll look like, if he'll have blue eyes like his brother and sister or will he have brown eyes like Mommy and Daddy.

We've also been doing some shopping for our little peanut. So far he has plenty of clothes to start off with. It'll be winter here so many of his outfits are made out of the nice and warm, soft fleece.

The month of Sept. is really flying by. The weather here in CT has been wonderful. The humidity is gone and the nights are so nice. It has been going down into the 50's and 60's. So we've had the window open. I'm so glad we wont have to use the A/C anymore. i can now here the babbling brook that runs through the backyard from my bedroom window. Before we know it, Halloween will be here!

Not much else is going on here. I had a nice morning at church and am going to relax today as much as I can. Yesterday i did get quite a bit of cleaning done so that I wouldnt have to do it today. I am off to make a cup of tea and perhaps read a good book. Thanks my friends for coming by to visit. I'll be back soon for another update on the life of the Duggan family.

God Bless and enjoy your day! And Happy Grandparents Day if you are a grandparent and are reading this!

Wow, after a great friend directed me how to gain access to my password, I totally forgot to update my journal! Silly me...

Many of my regualr visitors already know the wonderful news our family has been blessed with...that we are expecting a baby in Jan. 06!! Woohoo...we finally did it after patiently waiting for 5 years! God is so good...he rewards us faithful believers in magnificent ways! Matt and I couldn't be happier! We are both on cloud 9 and are enjoying the preparations needed to welcome a new baby into our family!

The link to the baby's site is ... www.bundleofjoys.com/sites/angel/index.php

Other than being pregnant, not much is new here with our family. The summer is to an end and the children will start school in about 1 1/2 weeks. So we've been preparing for the first day with back to school shopping.

Now hopefully I'll remember to keep this journal updated. Until next time, take comfort in knowing that God is with each one of us on this journey. He sure has blessed our family this year!

It seems like this month has really gone fast! And now it's May.

Hubby's surgery is this week...thurs. morning. And my little princess is going on a field trip to D.C. for 3 days. She'll be leaving on wed. morning. I'm going to miss her like crazy!!! This will be the first time ever that she has been gone away from home!!! She is nervous as I am. I know she will be safe and among her friends but I still can't help feeling anxious. I think the surgery is adding to the anxiety as well. It's going to be weird to have my baby gone from home. But I will be busy tending to Matt... post operative. I hope he doesn't have too much pain. And we are prayng that he will recover well and quickly.

On Mon., Nessie will have her spring concert for band...so we have something to look forward to. She plays the flute so well. It's a shame this is her last year since she doesn't want to play anymore. This time I will be able to record it though and take pics. So I will share them here when I can. She then also has a competition on May 13 in MA. They will perform 3 songs then will be judged by a group of music professors. Afterwards, the students will enjoy a 7 hour trip to Six Flags in MA. She is looking forward to it...a fun day with her friends! I hope the weather will cooperate.

It's nearing the end of the school year and we are busy with activities. Matthew is playing soccer and loving it. I am looking into a summer camp for him so he wont be so bored. I can't believe the time is going by so fast. Matthew will be 7 this year and Nessie will be graduating from jr. high. While I am thrilled and so proud of my children...it also brings some sadness to know they are getting more independent as the year goes on. The longing for another child is ever so strong and has been weighing on my mind. Just 4 years til Nessie will be graduating high school and off to college! What a scary thought!

Other than that, not much to report on. Oh...I almost forgot! Silly me .... Matt and I are celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary on May 23. We are going away for 3 days to the casino...just ourselves! I am excited. We haven't gone anywhere alone since we got married! So this will be nice...just to enjoy each other with no children. We are also going to RI the weekend before our anniversary. My friend, who's from Scotland, lives there so it will be wonderful  to see her. Haven't seen her since before she got married last year. I hear the beaches are beautiful in RI so that will be nice. I haven't been to a beach since I lived in NY....and I moved out of NY about 12 years ago!!!

I am REALLY looking forward to some time away from home, the hustle and bustle, and the children. Believe me, I love them dearly and devote nearly all my time to the kids. Their report cards are proof. But, now I need some time for me. To relax and not have to do anything. Matt and I really need to work on our marriage and rekindling the spark!

Well time for me to get to bed. It's after 1:30 am now. I'm going to climb into bed and read a book. I just bought a new book titled  Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer. it has a study guide too. Hopefully I can get some time to start that soon. A healthy mind will lead me to live a victorious life. With that said, i will close. All prayers are greatly apprciated. Please keep them coming. We are taking it day by day and trying to live life the best we can.

Special love to my sisters who faithfully keep our family lifted in prayer.

God Bless all of my readers this day and always. ~ Lisa

Hello All!

Well it has been very busy here in our household. The nice warm weather is here so we have been more busier with the children's activities. Matthew will be playing soccer again this year and Nessie has been busy with school. This is her last year in middle school and is preparing to go on a trip to D.C.!!! I will definitely miss her.

Matt went to the eye dr. this week and his vision has gone down some. It was quite frightening to see how much he couldn't see clearly. SO I am driving him to and from work as well as the kids.  Hubby will have surgery in a few weeks to correct the problem. We are hopeful that it will be ok. He had this surgery last year so we are at least familiar with the procedure...although we still do worry. This is a complication of his diabetes unfortunately. So keep this upcoming surgeryin your prayers as you remember.

It was nice to talk to Lisa G. on Tues. She's been on my mind a lot so hearing from her was a blessing. I truly believe things will begin to work out. Many have been praying for her so our prayers will be answered.

I am worn out but wanted to post from my new computer. We needed it and have it connected to the internet finally. Just need to add our  programs to this one when time permits and we'll be all set.

The last 2 weeks have been very draining on me physically. I do a lot of driving going here and there so please pray for safety. I am not sleeping all that well either, so I am cranky and tired during the day. This week is quite significant in my life and have been trying to cope with those issues as well. So far it has been ok. Often times I find myself thinking back to the time when I got pregnant with Nessie so it's been a challenge. I needed to call the hotline this morning though but I guess that's what it's there for...to talk to someone. I saw my therapist too and something about this week just made me so angry. It's an up and down kind of week so any prayers would be appreciated. I'm doing the best I can emotionally, given the circumstances.

Oh before I say good night I wanted to tell you all about something. Tonight Vanessa performed in a concert with a professional brass band. The performance was just amazing. Just before intermission, the band invited the middle school band members to go on stage and play with them.Vanessa plays the flute for those that don't know. Anyway, they played the Star Wars theme and they sounded great!!! From where I was sitting, I could see her clearly standing right in the front. But unfortunately no pics or camcorders were allowed in. What a bummer. All I kept saying to myself was look at my baby up there!! It was certainly a proud mother's moment!!  when the performance was over, we gave her a pink bouquet of roses and carnations. It was certainly an enjoyable evening for all who attended.

That's it for me. Thank you all who continue to come by for a visit.

Love and Blessings,

Lisa

Hello everyone!

It's a beautiful sunny Sunday! Yesterday was also a very nice day here in the 60's. We did some yard work and also received my son's bedroom furniture. He is excited and together we cleaned his room and put things away. Got finished with vacumming and such this morning. But i am glad it's done. His room was a disaster!

Last night, my hubby hooked up our new computer we bought this past week. I like it and will finally be able to do more than one thing at a time now. Our older computer was put downstairs for the kids. The hard drive is full to the max but is loaded with games and such for them. Now we just have to install our programs to the new one and we'll be all set. And yes Phyllis, hubby will set up the mic for me so we can chat! That will be nice to hear your lovely voice.

Not much else to report here. Just taking it one day at a time and doing the best I can. I have tons of housework to do since I haven't done much of anything lately. Just having to drive the kids to and from school and hubby as well takes all the energy I have. Haven't been sleeping well either but that's nothing new. I feel so worn down but still we manage to keep on going somehow.

Take care everyone. Please keep hubby in your prayers. He goes to the eye surgeon tomorrow. Looks like he will be having major eye surgery again in the near future. Thank you for visiting. God Bless all of my visitors abundantly.

Hello everyone!

I would like to start this off by saying that  Pope John Paul, who is nearing the end of his life, has been in my prayers for most of the week. His health is declining and I just pray that his pain is minimal and that he enters into Heaven peacefully, with no suffering. The thousands who are gathered outside of his apt. shows just how loved he is around the world. The outpouring of love and prayers for him is just amazing!

Missing dear Sharon from Blessings a lot...praying she is having a great time with her husband. She's such a wonderful person with a heart of gold and with 5 children...she sure does deserve this break! Can't wait to hear from her. She's been on my mind lately! But I know she is having a wonderful time visiting a part of her country down in Australia and spending quality time with her hubby! You are missed so much Sharon...

Not much else to say right now....been very depressed this past week ...but what else is new huh? Haven't had the energy for much...not sleeping still...praying all this will change and SOON. I am exhausted...today has been nice weather wise so I sat by the brook in the back...brought a book with me and enjoyed the sound of the water flowing. The sun is shining although this weekend is going to be a wash out. So best to enjoy the sun a little today. I'm hoping our backyard doesn't get flooded...it happens often when it rains...the water level is already high and the rain is supposed to come down like crazy! Yikes! I remember one time last fall, when the trampoline was being taken away with the strong water current. Hope it doesnt happen again.

That's it for now. I know this wasn't very exciting. Sorry. Maybe one day I'll have something interesting to say. Have a blessed day my friends. I have SO MUCH email it's very overwhelming. So if you haven't heard from me, that is why. One of these days, I'll get my act together...*sigh* Take care and know you are loved so much by ME!

Thanks for stopping by...

Happy Easter Everyone!!

I am up late trying to get some cooking done so i won't have to do it all tomorrow. We are having family coming over and some friends will probably stop in to visit too. So here I am!

I want to wish all of my visitors a very Happy Easter! Take some time to remember the true meaning of this day! Christ died and rose again so we may have eternal life.

As many of you know, this day is significant to me. I was blessed with the most precious gift of life on Easter 15 years ago....The holiest of days.

Our children will have a traditional Easter egg hunt in the afternoon followed by a family dinner.

Love and many Blessings to you this day!

Lisa

Easter Is A Gift...

Easter is the gift of HOPE
Easter is the gift of PEACE
Easter is the gift of LOVE
Let us rejoice in Him,
Who gives them all.

May God bless you at Easter,
And keep you all year through.
May God give you all the faith it takes,
To make your dreams come true.
May His love and wisdom always help,
To guide you on your way.
May His light shine down upon you now,
To bless your Easter Day.

~Author Unknown~

This entry is specifically for ALL and I do mean ALL...for my sisters at Blessings, for Sharon and all of her prayer warriors, and for anyone else who has inquired, wrote a message or email...

Thank you just doesn't seem to be adequate enough to express what my heart feels at this very moment. I came online tonight and was truly speechless and overwhelmed withthe amount of messages that were waiting for me to read...as well as all the emails! Many of them I read as I cried my eyes out. To see the love, the support of TRUE friends, and the friendship of so many Christians in this world just blessed my heart. The tears are still falling as I think of those who spent hours trying to seek out help for me and my situation. It's a difficult one indeed and I am still struggling to survive each day as it comes. This past week was spent sleeping while the kids were in school due to being up all night. I am trying to get my body in a different routine so that my days and nights arent so mixed up. I have not done a thing in a week! That's so not me! 

My medications have been switched around with a little so I am praying they will do what they are supposed to do...to ease the anxiety, to allow me to sleep at night, and to not be so drained by this depression that has consumed my life. It's not easy but this week I don't feel as if I want to die...which for me is an improvement of some kind. I think back to that night..or early morning when I took all those pills...it's scary to think I am able to bring myself to do harm. Each day I have to tell myself to continue with life...that I AM special, I am loved and cared for, and that people around the world are praying.

Yesterday I received a gift in the mail. Not a gift from a friend...well, it could be...but a gift from Joyce Meyer Ministries! Before I attempted to take my life, I wrote to the prayer team explaining the situation some. I did receive a reply back and then received a set of tapes yesterday..which totally blessed my heart! I have listened to one of them so far called Emotional Healing. When I was up all night last night, I played the tape over and over again...and it was encouraging. She reminded me that emotional healing is painful at times but you have to keep going in order to reap the rewards. The other tape which I have not listened to yet is about worth and value. Joyce Meyer is my role model. She has been through abuse herself and has come through with wholeness, happiness, and joy in her life! As I write this, I think to the time in my life when I too will achieve complete emotional healing and wholeness. I am hopeful and realize that there will be times that are painful but that it doesn't last forever. A lot harder to keep in mind when the memories are popping up everywhere.

The Lord as well as my sisters in Christ are behind me every step of the way. What a comfort to know that!

I am going to close this for now. Again I thank each person who has left a message and prayer. Your kindness, thoughtfulness, and caring never goes unnoticed. I appreciate you ALL for doing all that you can for me.

Love and Blessings,

Lisa

P.S.- Also if you would like to visit a new site, click here to read about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness in CT.

Hello Friends!

Well...it's been a while since I've been here to update. Some of you may have wondered where I went. This afternoon I came home from a week long hospital admission and I am so GLAD to be back. It was not a fun experience at all...but one that was necessary for my well being, emotionally.

I have not shared this part of my life here..but I will share a little since this is a part of me and is very much a part of my life at the moment. For those that don't know, I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I also became a mother at the young age of 14. It's been a challenge since I've started having memories a little over 2 years ago and has been a nightmare at times. Last week, memories and night terrors really put me in a dark place and I ended up in the psych. ward of the hospital on the morning of 3/2. Not the place I expected to be, but nonetheless, I found myself needing some extra care to get myself back on my feet so to speak. Overwhelming feelings of sadness and despair just washed over me.

I have a lot of work ahead of me but I am here and adjusting as best as I can. I am exhausted, feeling a bit uneasy and will spend most of today trying to rest and spend some time with the family. To those who have visited here and left messages in the last week, thank you, thank you soooooo much for stopping by. I've missed all  my friends...esp. those at Blessings...and can't wait to get back to you all.

I'll try to write here in the days to come....

Love and MANY Blessings,

Lisa