This entry is specifically for ALL and I do mean ALL...for my sisters at Blessings, for Sharon and all of her prayer warriors, and for anyone else who has inquired, wrote a message or email...

Thank you just doesn't seem to be adequate enough to express what my heart feels at this very moment. I came online tonight and was truly speechless and overwhelmed withthe amount of messages that were waiting for me to read...as well as all the emails! Many of them I read as I cried my eyes out. To see the love, the support of TRUE friends, and the friendship of so many Christians in this world just blessed my heart. The tears are still falling as I think of those who spent hours trying to seek out help for me and my situation. It's a difficult one indeed and I am still struggling to survive each day as it comes. This past week was spent sleeping while the kids were in school due to being up all night. I am trying to get my body in a different routine so that my days and nights arent so mixed up. I have not done a thing in a week! That's so not me! 

My medications have been switched around with a little so I am praying they will do what they are supposed to do...to ease the anxiety, to allow me to sleep at night, and to not be so drained by this depression that has consumed my life. It's not easy but this week I don't feel as if I want to die...which for me is an improvement of some kind. I think back to that night..or early morning when I took all those pills...it's scary to think I am able to bring myself to do harm. Each day I have to tell myself to continue with life...that I AM special, I am loved and cared for, and that people around the world are praying.

Yesterday I received a gift in the mail. Not a gift from a friend...well, it could be...but a gift from Joyce Meyer Ministries! Before I attempted to take my life, I wrote to the prayer team explaining the situation some. I did receive a reply back and then received a set of tapes yesterday..which totally blessed my heart! I have listened to one of them so far called Emotional Healing. When I was up all night last night, I played the tape over and over again...and it was encouraging. She reminded me that emotional healing is painful at times but you have to keep going in order to reap the rewards. The other tape which I have not listened to yet is about worth and value. Joyce Meyer is my role model. She has been through abuse herself and has come through with wholeness, happiness, and joy in her life! As I write this, I think to the time in my life when I too will achieve complete emotional healing and wholeness. I am hopeful and realize that there will be times that are painful but that it doesn't last forever. A lot harder to keep in mind when the memories are popping up everywhere.

The Lord as well as my sisters in Christ are behind me every step of the way. What a comfort to know that!

I am going to close this for now. Again I thank each person who has left a message and prayer. Your kindness, thoughtfulness, and caring never goes unnoticed. I appreciate you ALL for doing all that you can for me.

 

Love and Blessings,

Lisa

 

P.S.- Also if you would like to visit a new site, click here to read about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness in CT.

My darling Lisa it is so wonderful to see you on line and writing in your journal, I have prayed and prayed for you and all my freinds are praying for you also...I know what your going through AS i AM ALSO going into a lot of darks rooms in my life and it isnt very painful but we have to go through it to be healed beleive me as it is painful but you will come out a better person for it thank God your ok if you want to email me my new address is perrettlilly@yahoo.com.au posting your parcel this week sorry its late

SO GLAD TO HEAR THIS REPORT, Lisa! Keep on hanging on my dear! He will help you to make it through it all! Will keep praying for Him to hold you in the palm of His hand....where He has our names written! Blessings and will keep on checking here to see how you are doing...much love, Lorene

I came here as soon as I could.. I am so emotional now for you.. I told Phyllis too.. that you wrote here.. I am overwhelmed that church I wrote too is so close.. On the map of your state it looked much further away then that.. Our prayers go with you.. for God to use whatever will help you...
I am so glad Joyce Meyer ministries sent you some tapes.. I just know in my heart you are going to get that comeplete healing.. too many good things are happening.. Someone who doesn't know you have been watching Joyce Meyers suggested to me that you watch her programs.. I will have to send you what she wrote.. It just has to be the Lord's leading..

Joanne.. Lorene.. I and so many.. are right here with you in spirit and on your journal.. and through our prayers.. God bless you sweet friend.. I am going to share your news with others so the prayers and support keep on going.. And God gets the glory too.. He is so good.. so good to us..

Love to you from Sharon

Dearest precious Lisa...
I know your pain. You see, I was sexually violated as a child. I supressed the memory for years, and when it finally came out, it tore me to shreds. I tried to kill myself several times when I was a teenager, I was so broken. But then God came along, and found me in my brokenness, and He took me in and healed me. It took me a long time to let Him in, but now I cling to Him like a little child.
Lisa, though I havent known you long, You are my friend and my sister. I have walked a very similar road, I think, and I just want you to know, that you can ALWAYS talk to me. I love you. Stay strong. God bless.

Hi Lisa
Was so nice chatting with you this evening. Your going to be just fine, like I told you God has a lot in store for you And there is Victory ahead through the blood of Jesus. And the battle is the Lords. Well you sleep well, and God bless you dear sweetie.
Love you soooooooooooooo much

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Sunday, July 16th 2006 @ 8:38